Having Kids : 6 Things I Wish Someone Told Me

« While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. »-Angela Schwindt. 

Dear readers, 

In less than 2 years Allah gifted me with 2 children, both boys, both as crazy as me. I love them to pieces, J. for making me a mother and L. for making me one, a second time. I’m not gonna sit there and pretend that being a mother is easy and everyday we are living the Pinterest life. Neither I’ll pretend it’s so hard that nobody should have one (or more)! 

I’ll always try my best to be the most honest possible, first in this article by sharing with you 6 things I wish someone told me before having kids. Even though we can all agree that, no one, is really prepared to be a parent. I love to believe that’s nonetheless it’s always good to be prepared. With that said, let’s begin. 

    1. As a Muslim woman I believe in the power of prayers. So it’s logical that I place this as my number one. Without Allah nothing is possible, and in this beautiful and difficult experience we need to make a lot of duas (invocations) for them, for us all the time. 
    2. Wanting kids isn’t enough. It’s important to educate ourselves about children, how their brain function year after year. To search different way to raise them, and in order to achieve that read books or listen to conferences by educators, childhood specialists. We have to do the maximum to be the better parent possible, learn and understand how. Even if every child is different. 
    3. There are days where nothing goes as planned. Days where we fill like we failed but that’s okay, because during those bad days we will learn a lot about our limits and our child/children’s ones, and try to find ways to avoid the same mistakes. 
    4. There is nothing, literally nothing shameful about asking help. That’ll not make you a bad parent. We need to free our words, because by doing this with the right person, we’ll not be alone anymore with our doubts and sadness. Plus we can receive great advice and much needed support. 
    5. The goal is not to be the best mother, but to be the best to our child/children. And know that even if we have the feeling that we never do enough, that’s a very good thing because that means we want to thrive, being better and do better. 
    6. Like Angela Schwindt said it so beautifully, our kids are teaching us so much. They teach us patience, unconditional love. Kids teach us how to fight to give the best of ourselves, that with a little we can do a lot, the simple joys of life. And above all to enjoy every minute before it’s too late. 

It’s your turn now, I want to know what are the things you wish someone had told you… I can’t wait to read you. 

  1.  

With love, Arba. 

2 comments

  1. Something I wish I was told: there is no one way to discipline. Different methods and ways work for each child and it’s okay to tailor it to that child.
    Another thing: how to help myself post partum! I knew to expect the worst pain of my life in labour but that post parfum healing was another trial! No wonder mothers hold such a high place in our beautiful religion. Alhamdulilaah 🌹
    I love your point about not being a perfect parent but being perfect for our kids. That’s a great way to put it

    1. Thank you so much for your comment. I’m with you on everything you said. I plan to write an article on pregnancy : the before & after. May Allah bless you.

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